Fundraising Is Not Asking, It’s Inviting

Fundraising Is Partnership, Not Begging

Recently I was talking with a friend who works in the corporate world. He had just finished his annual review and asked how things were wrapping up for us at The Hope Effect.

We eventually started talking about next year and what we were looking forward to in our careers. Then he asked me a really honest question. "Do you ever get weary having to raise money all the time?" Without hesitation I said, "No."

I could tell he was surprised. He expected me to say something like, "Yeah, it's tough, but somebody has to do it." Or maybe, "It's not my favorite part of the job, but it comes with the territory." But that is not how I feel.

Why I Don't Get Weary

Here is the truth: I believe deeply in what we are doing. The mission to help vulnerable children grow up in loving families is not just a job for me. It is something that has captured my heart. When I think about the children we have helped, the families that have been restored, and the generational change that is happening, I feel grateful that I get to spend my life on this kind of work. That belief changes everything.

If I did not believe in the mission - if I was just going through the motions or leading an organization because it pays the bills - then yes, fundraising would be exhausting. It would feel like begging. It would feel like I was constantly asking people to care about something I was not even sure mattered.

But when you know in your bones that what you are doing is worth it, fundraising stops feeling like a burden. It starts feeling like an invitation.

The Shift That Changed Everything

The other reason I do not grow weary is because fundraising is not really about "asking for money." At least, that is not how I think about it anymore.

Early in my nonprofit journey, I approached fundraising differently. I felt like I was interrupting people's lives to ask them to care about something they might not naturally prioritize. Every conversation felt a little awkward. Every ask felt a little heavy.

I was asking people to give me money so I could do the work I cared about. That mindset made fundraising feel transactional. And honestly, a little draining. But somewhere along the way, thanks to a mentor, my perspective shifted.

I realized that when I talk to potential donors, I am not asking them to help me. I am inviting them into something meaningful. Something they want to be part of. Something that aligns with their values and gives their resources eternal significance.

Our team spends its time connecting with people who care about the same things we care about. People who want their lives to matter. People who want to help solve real problems in the world.

When we find each other, we do not simply complete a transaction. We form a partnership. It is less about asking someone to give and more about inviting them to join us in changing the world. Yes, money is involved. But I honestly see it as an investment into children, families, and a better future.

Partnership vs. Transaction

Here is how I think about it now:

Transactional fundraising says: "We need money. Will you give?"

Partnership fundraising says: "We're doing this important work. Would you like to be part of it?"

One feels like begging. The other feels like invitation.

One creates awkwardness. The other creates connection.

One measures success by the size of the check. The other measures success by the depth of the relationship.

When you deeply believe in your mission—when you know the work matters and the impact is real—you are not asking people to do you a favor. You are giving them the opportunity to invest in something bigger than themselves. That is a gift, not a burden.

What This Looks Like in Practice

Let me give you an example. A few years ago, I sat down with a couple who had been following The Hope Effect's work for a while. They cared about children. They cared about family. But they had never given to our organization before.

I could have walked into that conversation thinking, "I need to convince them to write a check." Instead, I walked in thinking, "I wonder if this couple wants to be part of what we're building."

I told them about the work we were doing in Mexico. I shared stories of children who had been reunited with their biological families after years in orphanages. I talked about our partnership with the government to revolutionize how they care for vulnerable children.

And then I said something like this:

"We believe that every child deserves to grow up in a loving family. Not in an institution, but in a family. And we've seen that when families are supported well, generational change happens. We're looking for partners who want to be part of that change. Is that something that resonates with you?"

They said yes.

Not because I convinced them. Not because I made them feel guilty. But because what we were doing aligned with what they already cared about. I did not ask them to care about my mission. I invited them into their mission—the one that was already in their hearts.

That is partnership.

Three Shifts That Make Fundraising Feel Different

Over the years, I have learned a few things that have helped me approach fundraising with confidence instead of dread:

1. Get clear on your mission. If you are not absolutely convinced that what you are doing matters, fundraising will always feel like begging. But when you know—deep in your bones—that the work is worth it, you show up differently. You speak with conviction. You invite with confidence.

At The Hope Effect, we know that family is better than institutions. We know that children belong in homes, not orphanages. That clarity eliminates the weariness because we are not trying to convince people to care—we are inviting people who already care to join us.

2. Find the right partners. Not everyone is meant to partner with your mission. And that is okay. Some people care deeply about education. Some care about clean water. Some care about foster care or refugees or mental health or the arts. Your job is not to convince everyone to care about your cause. Your job is to find the people who already care and invite them in.

When you are talking to the right people, fundraising does not feel like convincing. It feels like connecting.

3. Remember: donors win too! This might be the most important shift of all. Generous people want to give. They want their resources to matter. They want to be part of work that aligns with their values and creates lasting impact.

When you give them that opportunity, you are not taking from them. You are helping them steward their resources in a way that brings them joy and purpose. Partnership means everyone wins. The children we serve win. The donors who partner with us win. And we win because we get to lead work that matters.

Why This Matters for Your Organization

If you are feeling weary about fundraising, I would encourage you to ask yourself a few questions:

Do I deeply believe in the mission I am raising money for?

If the answer is no, that is a bigger problem than fundraising. You might be in the wrong role or the wrong organization. You cannot sustain fundraising for a mission you do not believe in.

But if the answer is yes, then let that belief fuel you. Let it shape how you talk about the work. Let it give you the confidence to invite others into something that matters.

Am I talking to the right people?

Are you spending your time with people who already care about what you care about? Or are you trying to convince people who are never going to be passionate about your cause?

Find your people. The ones who light up when you talk about the work. The ones who ask questions because they genuinely want to know more. The ones who are looking for a place to invest their resources in meaningful ways.

Am I inviting partnership, or am I asking for favors?

This is the shift that changes everything. When you view donors as partners—as co-laborers in meaningful work—the entire dynamic changes. You are not begging. You are not convincing. You are inviting.

And invitation feels completely different than asking.

The Joy of the Work

So no, I do not get tired of raising money.

I am grateful I get to invite people into something meaningful and life changing.

I get to sit across from generous people who want their lives to matter and say, "Here is how we can partner together to change the world for vulnerable children."

I get to watch their eyes light up when they realize they can be part of something bigger than themselves.

I get to see the impact of their generosity in the lives of real children and real families.

That is not exhausting. That is a privilege.

Fundraising can be challenging. Rejection stings. Not every conversation goes well. But when you shift from transactional thinking to partnership thinking, something changes.

You stop feeling like you are begging and start feeling like you are inviting.

You stop measuring success by the check size and start measuring it by the depth of the relationship.

You stop feeling weary and start feeling energized because you are not just raising money—you are building a community of people who believe in the mission as much as you do.

That is worth showing up for.

Questions for Reflection

• Do you deeply believe in the mission you are raising money for? If not, what needs to change?

• Are you talking to the right people—people who already care about what you care about?

• Are you inviting partnership, or are you asking for favors?

If you want to talk through how to shift your fundraising mindset from transaction to partnership, drop me a line. I would love to hear your story.

I'm cheering for you.